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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Cervical Cancer research and treatment discussions

Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Karmel » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:37 am

My aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month ago. She starts Chemo a week from tomorrow. She lives on long island and i live in south western New York state. I am about to move to north carolina with my boyfriend. She called and asked me if i would go out there and help her because all of her kids have kids and im one of the few other people that shes trusts. I told my boyfriend about it and he told me that if his grandfather went through chemo alone she can do it too, then he told me that he is movingto north carolina with or with out me and if i went to long island we would just have to break up because long distance relationships dont work. I wouldonly be gone for 7 weeks not a year.






Couldyou please give me some advice because i just dont know what to do.
Karmel
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Hubert » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:39 am

I`m so sorry about your aunt.
First of all why aren`t her children helping out???

Second ... as much as you may love your boyfriend ... If i had a man who said that to me, about breaking up and long distance relationships don`t work... I`d be furious with him and i would end the relationship it right now.

How close you are to your aunt, If you are close then you have to go, maybe you won`t be there for 7 week, and your right ... it isn`t long, could you live with yourself if you didn`t go and something happened.


I would be ashamed of your boyfriend if he was a relation of mine, not going to see his grandfather when he went through all of the chemo.
As much as it may hurt you if your so called boyfriend broke up with you, I would go, but it`s your decision.

Long distance relationships do work, I met someone on the internet, I lived at one end of the country and he the other, we are now married.

you deserve much better than someone who is trying to blackmail you into doing what he wants.

What ever you decide, good luck.
xxx
Hubert
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Blayney » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:41 am

girl if you dont stand by your aunt you will regret it forever .if it was me id dumb him any way he sounds like a selfish asshole to me
Blayney
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Stanweg » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:42 am

It sounds like your bf has a lot of unresolved family issues somewhere in his life and doesn't mind using your aunt's situation to take some of them out on you.

The big question is, how long is this going to go on before you become isolated from your family and friends because if he doesn't need family and friends, neither do you?

I'm sorry, but to me this is such a big warning sign ... someone who loved and cared about you would want to support you and not see you have to make a choice like 'dying aunt or bf'.


If you read this and it wasn't about you, what would YOU think of the bf's behaviour?

If you believe it's OK, then dump your aunt and move.


If you think it's NOT OK, go to your aunt, do what you have to do, and count yourself lucky you found out now about his feelings of family and also how highly he values YOUR feelings ~ before you have kids or a health crisis and need help and genuine support in your life.

Best wishes :-)
Stanweg
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Aric » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:43 am

Dump the b/f, he's a real asshole.
Aric
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Akavya » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:47 am

Go and be with your Aunt.
If he decides that 7 weeks is too long to wait, then he wasn't worth it to begin with.
Also, the mere fact that he said that about his Grandfather shows how little feelings he has about family.
You need to take that into consideration.
Family is important.
Men come and go, but family is forever.
Akavya
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Aquilino » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:48 am

I have to tell you, I think you are being clouded by love.
He probably wouldn't be a guy you would want to live with.
He sounds like the kind of guy that checks your cell phone logs, reads your e-mails, gets jealous when you go out alone or with friends, and probably drinks too much....

I would go with your aunt - she is family, family is always there, he is just another guy... and boyfriends and girlfriends, whichever, are like airplanes, a new one comes buy every other hour.

Go with your aunt - and don't go in the water, there are sharks in the long island sound.
Aquilino
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Dohate » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:49 am

Its nice that you would want to help but she is not your responsibility,she has family that can make the sacrifice not you. I have been through a similar situation and it was not a pleasant experience holding someones hand through the ordeal, try not to put yourself in that position if you don't have to.

Oh yeah ...my answer has nothing to do with your boyfriend being selfish.
Dohate
 
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Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Yale » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:52 am

My aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month ago. She starts Chemo a week from tomorrow. She lives on long island and i live in south western New York state. I am about to move to north carolina with my boyfriend. She called and asked me if i would go out there and help her because all of her kids have kids and im one of the few other people that shes trusts. I told my boyfriend about it and he told me that if his grandfather went through chemo alone she can do it too, then he told me that he is movingto north carolina with or with out me and if i went to long island we would just have to break up because long distance relationships dont work. I wouldonly be gone for 7 weeks not a year.


Couldyou please give me some advice because i just dont know what to do.
Yale
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:59 am

Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place...?

Postby Menassah » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:53 am

Hon, your boyfriend sounds like a jerk.
Family always comes first, and your aunt obviously needs help, and she trusts you enough to ask you for your help.
You should be there for her.
This is not an easy time, physically or emotionally for her.
I think you already know what you should do.
Him actually telling you that his GRANDFATHER went through chemo alone should tell you something......you need a real man, hon, not the guy you are with.
Good luck, and I hope your aunt gets better!!!
Menassah
 
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