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Can You Please Check My Essay For Grammar- Help?

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Can You Please Check My Essay For Grammar- Help?

Postby Wolfrick » Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:37 pm

This is a reflective essay on the death of my Gran.


PLEASE CAN YOU PROOFREAD IT AND CORRECT AND IDENTIFY ANY GRAMMAR OR PUNCTUATION ERRORS, RIGHT DOWN TO THE SEMI-COLONS AND COMMAS.


ANY HELP IS GREATLY APPRECIATED, AS I AM NOT GREAT AT ENGLISH.


THANKYOU.


Death? Usually, it is a subject of which no one dares speak of, almost forbidden territory; at least it was in my solemn upbringing, seen as an event which somehow does not affect anyone dear or significant to me ? only others. This indeed was the concept I continued to perceive and naturally accept back then. How immature was I?

Gran had been ill for some time. Days, weeks, months passed me by in a haze, as she drifted in and out of consciousness. It wasn?t long before her diagnosis was confirmed. It was cancer. From that grim day on, Gran's health continued to deteriorate, being drawn ever further in a rapid downward spiral. Even though I wasn't supposed to, even though no one wanted me to understand the depths of her illness, I knew she was not herself anymore; I knew that she was not my Gran. Every hour of every day suddenly evolved into a harrowing mix of desperation and fear. What was the outcome? death? It seemed inevitable. Feelings of dread and anguish were crushing me, but nothing could compare to how desperate the situation felt. I had not the slightest inkling of what I could do to help.
Wolfrick
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:27 am

Can You Please Check My Essay For Grammar- Help?

Postby Gregorio » Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:40 pm

I'm going to retype the essay with my corrections:

Death? It is usually a subject of which no one dares to speak of ? almost forbidden territory ? at least it was in my solemn upbringing. It was seen as an event which somehow does not affect anyone dear or significant to me ? only others. This indeed was the concept I perceived and naturally accepted back then. How immature was I?

The last paragraph was pretty good. Nothing I really wanted to change.
Gregorio
 
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Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:33 am

Can You Please Check My Essay For Grammar- Help?

Postby wichell » Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:43 pm

Didn't I do this already? I only havea a few changes for paragraph 1.

Death? Usually, it is a subject of which no one dares speak of, almost forbidden territory; at least it was so in my solemn upbringing, usually seen as an event which somehow does not affect anyone dear or significant to me ? only others. This indeed was the concept I continued to perceive and naturally accept back then. How immature was I?

Gran had been ill for some time. Days, weeks, months passed me by in a haze, as she drifted in and out of consciousness. It wasn?t long before her diagnosis was confirmed. It was cancer. From that grim day on, Gran's health continued to deteriorate, being drawn ever further in a rapid downward spiral. Even though I wasn't supposed to, even though no one wanted me to understand the depths of her illness, I knew she was not herself anymore; I knew that she was not my Gran. Every hour of every day suddenly evolved into a harrowing mix of desperation and fear. What was the outcome? death? It seemed inevitable. Feelings of dread and anguish were crushing me, but nothing could compare to how desperate the situation felt. I had not the slightest inkling of what I could do to help.
wichell
 
Posts: 387
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:37 pm

Can You Please Check My Essay For Grammar- Help?

Postby Gentza » Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:00 pm

i won't be in a position to superb all that. The language does not be suited to me. "Stuff" isn't a be conscious i could contain in a intense essay. interior the 1st sentence you pose the question why many human beings at present are obsessed via celebrities. Your 2nd paragraph, wherein you have been going to grant examples for the justifications human beings look so enthusiastic approximately celebrities definitely describes the obsession particularly than the reason. throughout the time of historic previous human beings have sought somebody to venerate. as quickly as upon a time this became a God or Gods. human beings in recent times are much less probable to harass with non secular worship, yet human nature nevertheless seeks something to venerate. consequently people who could have no particularly admirable characteristics can grow to be an merchandise of veneration. i could then enhance the subject of merchandise of veneration interior the previous - 2 hundred years in the past in case you heard of a celeb - an excellent warrior or statesman case in point - maximum folk could have no thought what they regarded like. there have been no pictures or television in those days so their attractiveness had to come lower back from something lots greater genuine than seems. i think of you could enhance that alongside the lines of your 2nd paragraph - human beings choose celebrities and that they discover them as you defined. good luck. you have the makings of an exciting essay right here.
Gentza
 
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Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 2:58 am


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